Proof that Angelina Jolie’s breasts do not guarantee box office success. This movie is even more ridiculous than the first and the only reason this film is not relegated to the 0.25 star section is because, well, Angelina Jolie is hot.
As dumb as it is, her hotness at least numbs you somewhat to the pain that trying to follow and make sense of this film will inflict. At least Indiana Jones went after real artifacts and sites, not made up crap that this series pushes on its viewers. The prospect of a third Tomb Raider has me assured that there is still hope that Joile’s breasts will fail her and she’ll find herself at the very bottom of my list.
I’m trying to come up with a mathematical equation that will make this film make sense. I think I’ve got it:
Tomb Raider = Indiana Jones – intelligence – realism + breasts + short shorts
That pretty much sums it up. The absurdity of the plot (which seems to be just a vehicle for showing how good Angelina Jolie looks in tight outfits) shows its video game roots. Only a gamer could consider any of this mess plausible.
A planetary alignment of the whole solar system gives a cult the chance to control time by accessing some ancient, yet uber-sophisticated device hidden somewhere. In the process, the cult manages to anger Angelina, bringing her (and her breasts) into the fray to honor the memory of her father. About as deep as a kiddie pool, right? Basically, it gives helpless gamer nerds a flesh and blood image of their video game heroine and sucks a little bit of intelligence out of the rest of us.
Proof that Angelina Jolie’s breasts do not guarantee box office success. This movie is even more ridiculous than the first and the only reason this film is not relegated to the 0.25 star section is because, well, Angelina Jolie is hot. 
