The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn-Part 2 (2012)

At long last, we reach the concluding chapter of the Twilight Saga. It’s had fewer ups than downs but there is finally light at the end of the tunnel. Too bad the final leg of the journey fails to measure up to any of the first three films in the series.

Bella awakens as a newborn vampire, finding herself strong, super-fast, and hungry for blood. Bella is able to restrain her thirst and learns the ropes from Edward. Together, Bella and Edward watch their daughter, Renessme, grow at a rapid pace, reaching pre-pubescence in a matter of months. When a visiting vampire sees the child, she flees, thinking Renessme is a dangerous Immortal Child, capable of nothing but destruction. Upon learning this false information, the Volturi set out to destroy the Cullens for violating their laws. The Cullens, knowing the potential wrath of the Volturi, scramble to gather friends who will testify to Renessme’s true nature and stand to fight the Volturi if necessary.

In many ways, Breaking Dawn Part 2 mirrors the structure of Part 1. There’s a lot more build-up and rising tension but the pace loses its way when introducing all the vampires who come to the aid of the Cullens. Maybe this could have been avoided by trimming some of the excesses of Part 1 to include a few introductions instead of wallowing in pointless wedding and honeymoon details. The conclusion would have been similarly anticlimactic had it not been for a massive battle scene. The point remains, however, that few, if any, chances are taken and neither Bella nor the Cullens end up sacrificing much of anything at the end of it all.

I can’t fault the film for lacking character development. By now, everyone is as formed as they are going to be and there just isn’t enough time to give proper development to the myriad of vampires being introduced. Even Bella’s discovery of her newfound vampire abilities is rushed, though I’m not complaining. The whole sequence was cheesy and full of poor visual effects. And yet, it is probably exactly what the Twihards were hoping for.

Breaking Dawn Part 2 is something like the sum of all previous installments. It’s not as bad as the haters think it is but it’s not a good movie by any stretch of the imagination. It may merit a re-watch or two simply because it brings the series to an end but it’s not a very satisfying end for those of us who like full-bodied stories instead of fluffed-up wish lists. In some ways, I’m glad there was a fake-out at the end because it would have been insufferable otherwise.

RATING: 2.25 out of 5

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn- Part 1 (2011)

I’m going to be honest right up front- this movie made me angry. After a well-put-together plot in Eclipse, what do we get? A whole lot of nothing. Maybe the inklings of a plot but the filmmakers blow it all up in order to give the fans what they want- a shamelessly indulgent squee-fest. Or maybe it’s author Stephanie Meyer’s fault for making this story what she wanted it to be. If this weren’t Twilight, I’d find it hard to believe. But this is Twilight and this is the worst kind of Twilight.

The wedding of Bella Swan and Edward Cullen finally arrives, bringing dozens of vampire friends from all over the world. After consummating their nuptials on their private-island honeymoon, Bella becomes pregnant. The fact that this is not believed to be possible, coupled with a rapidly-progressing pregnancy, sends the lovebirds back to Forks to figure out what the heck is going on. When Jacob finds out, he beats the drums of war, rallying several of his kin to destroy what they think is a monster growing in Bella’s womb.

Now for the short version: Bella and Edward get married, have sex, get pregnant, and the werewolves don’t like it. That’s about it, making this movie one gigantic frustration for those of us who prefer a little more plot and a lot less indulgence from films. There is also one of the most disturbing childbirth scenes ever put on film, further adding to the shift away from everything that was right about Eclipse.

One thing I will praise is the skin tone used in this film. Each successive Twilight film gave more and more color to the vampire characters. In Breaking Dawn, I wouldn’t even go so far as to call many of the vampires pale. They just look like they need a tad more sun is all. This leaves the werewolves as the sole annoying visual effect in the film for a change.

The pacing is dreadful, spending far too much time on the minute details of the wedding and honeymoon. That may be what Twihards really want to see but it makes the first half of the film drag on for those of us among the non-Kool-Aid drinkers. Seriously, there is no plot development until halfway through the movie. I realize that this is only the first part of a two-part story but it takes too long to reach the central conflict of this installment. Even then, Bella’s potential demon-baby drama is largely anticlimactic. In true Twilight fashion, a change of heart leads everyone to just leave the kid alone.

The film attempts to leave you with a cliffhanger but it’s really more of a teaser of what’s to come next. Did they really think that audiences would worry about Bella’s survival at all? We know there is another movie coming and the author of the books has shown no interest at all up to now in doing anything drastic or game-changing. Everyone starts and finishes more or less in the safe little bubble they were in when the movie started. Few if any chances are taken and, after four Twilight movies now, the safeness of it all is getting old.

RATING: 1.75 out of 5

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)

To say that this is the Twilight film I had been waiting for would be a grave overstatement. This is, however, the kind of complete story that both of the preceding Twilight films should have been. While there are still the usual filmmaking stumbles along the way that an objective observer would expect from a Twilight sequel, Eclipse provides a satisfying amount of character development and pacing.

After seeing her lover and her lackey dispatched in the first two films, the wicked Victoria (now played by Bryce Dallas Howard) finally sets her plot for revenge against Bella Swan into motion. Building an army of newborn vampires, she plans to manipulate her strong and blood-thirsty minions into destroying Bella and the Cullens. All is not lost, however, as Jasper Cullen knows exactly how to fight newborn vampires and trains his family as well as Jacob Black and some of his werewolf brethren for a vicious battle.

After two installments, audiences finally get a complete story. One of my biggest issues with the first two Twilight films was the way they fed us false starts, only to wander aimlessly until the final 30 minutes, when a sudden development yanks us at full speed to the final destination. Here we have real plot development and foreshadowing. The film never goes off an a tangent, always moving forward to the next cog in the machinery. Needless to say, this is a very welcome change.

Character development is also a welcome change here. Up to now, the characters Rosalie and Jasper were virtually one-dimensional. In Eclipse, we learn a little about both their pasts, as humans and vampires. Rosalie is no longer the raging vampire PMS queen and Jasper is finally given a personality of his own. Watching him stare at everything like a psychopath got old quick. While it’s hard to swallow some of Jacob’s pack mates joining forces with the Cullens to protect Bella, it does make for some humorous moments when Jasper teaches them all how to fight newborn vampires.

The visual effects and the acting are both still sketchy. It’s nice to see more color on screen now that most of the digital color grading has been abandoned. The Cullens are also just pale in complexion now, instead of super-pasty white. That helps you believe they could actually coexist in the human world without being gawked at 100% of the time. The werewolves still look lousy and the fight sequence was overdone.

I give credit to Nikki Reed and Jackson Rathbone for stepping up to the plate when their characters finally get some spotlight. It still boggles my mind, however, how Twihards still support Kristen Stewart. She just looks lost half the time and her delivery is horrible. Perhaps this is due to the source material but it just looks like she’s dialing this thing in. The intensity of the newborns is appreciated, even if they become comical by the time the big fight arrives. In short, the acting represents an overall improvement for the Twilight series but the bar was set really low to begin with.

To me, Eclipse marks a turning point in the Twilight films. It seems that the actors are finally comfortable in their roles (Kristen Stewart may be the exception). As someone who hasn’t read the books, I am now comfortable with the Twilight universe, flaws and all. Perhaps resigning myself to expect a deeply flawed film allowed me to be taken off guard by how complete the story of Eclipse actually is. Calling it my favorite Twilight film would be disingenuous but if you locked me in a room and told me that I had to watch one of the Twilight films, I would pick this one in a heartbeat.

RATING: 2.75 out of 5

SECOND HELPINGS: The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)

I’m going to come right out and say it- I was a little too harsh on this film the first time I rated it. New Moon is still just as chock-full of problems as its predecessor but it also shows a few signs of improvement. Where Twilight was laughably bad at times, New Moon comes across as just puzzling in its most awkward moments. While my opinion of this film has improved slightly, many of my original arguments stand firm.

In many ways, New Moon follows a similar framework as Twilight. Much of the first half of the film is slow and moody with a little bit of mystery mixed in. Then there is a little bit of tension building before a break-neck pace takes over the final quarter of the film. The big mid-film reveal (this time it’s that Jacob and his tribemates are werewolves) is, once again, a total anticlimax due to the marketing of the film, word of mouth, and obvious foreshadowing from the first film.

This time around, Bella isn’t alone in making sudden, nonsensical decisions. Edward breaks off their romance and cuts off all communication early on in the film when Jasper shows difficulty controlling himself when Bella gets a paper cut. Late in the film, Edward shows no common sense when Jacob tells him over the phone that Bella is dead. Instead of verifying this shocking news with his psychic-powered sister or even calling someone else back in Forks for confirmation, Edward decides to go off the deep end and expose himself to humans so he can be killed by the Volturi, a fascinating group of characters that are woefully underutilized. This would-be dramatic turn stands out as a sign that the author wasn’t paying attention while she was writing. Instead of building toward this event all along, it comes suddenly, out of nowhere and via a ridiculous spur-of-the-moment coincidence.

One of my biggest beefs with the story of New Moon is the inclusion of Victoria. In Twilight, her hunter vampire boyfriend was killed by the Cullens, leaving the vampiress thirsty for revenge. Instead of a firm revenge plot taking sail, Victoria simply stalks Bella from a great distance. It’s just enough for Bella to need a bodyguard detail in the form of her new werewolf friends. The problem is that Victoria never becomes a legitimate threat; she just lurks in the shadows to provide filler before Edward breaks out the Jump-To-Conclusions Mat. Maybe I’m going a little too Chekov’s Gun here but don’t bother teasing us with the possibility of Victoria seeking revenge if you’re not going to bring her back in full and finish that story arc. It’s lazy writing and strings the audience along.

The visual effects are better this time around but they are still a mixed bag. The budget for New Moon was 35% higher than that of Twilight. While it seems evident that some of that increase went to the visual effects, not quite enough of it did. The color palette is warmer this time, unlike Twilight’s terrible digital grading to sap most of the color out of everything. Had the filmmakers made this decision because Jacob and his werewolf brethren are hot to the touch as opposed to vampires being stone cold, I might have given the film some style points. Alas, it wasn’t as intentional as that. The director simply wanted to emulate the color palette of the Italian artwork he likes.

The visual effects for the wolves that Jacob and his friends turn into, however, fail to impress. Part of it may be due to the unnaturally large size of wolves they turn into. Their proportions are correct but their size registers in your brain as wrong. They also don’t look like they occupy the same space as the flesh-and-blood actors on screen with them or the real environments they are inserted into. That’s how it looks on my TV screen. Perhaps it looked better on the big screen, as many visual effects often do.

One of the few things that New Moon has going for it is a little bit of character development. Unlike the relationship between Bella and Edward, watching Bella and Jacob grow in their friendship is believable. Maybe it helps that their starting point is a place of friendship instead of mystery and bloodlust. Mystery is added to the mix after they’ve grown close and Jacob shuts her out of his life for a while. Their interactions and the chemistry between the actors feel natural and right, which is the complete opposite of how Bella and Edward felt in the first film.

I originally trashed this movie and gave it a lower rating than Twilight. After taking a second look at New Moon, I actually think it is a better film on the whole than its predecessor. Some of the technical aspects that were unwelcome in Twilight have been done away with. Sadly, New Moon is just as guilty for not rebuking Bella for her irrational behavior to the point of learning an actual lesson. By not having the heroine change and mature, the film legitimizes at least some of Bella’s moody, hormonal, teenage thought processes and actions in the eyes of some in the audience. Along with this, there are enough flaws to hold this film at the same level as Twilight but I think I would easily watch this one again over the first installment if given the choice.

ORIGINAL RATING: 2 out of 5

NEW RATING: 2.5 out of 5

SECOND HELPINGS: Twilight (2008)

First and foremost, I want to apologize for the overlong rant that was my original review. Good Lord, what a mess! Much of my criticism still stands but I will try to make it a little more eloquent and far more concise. We’ll start with this: Twilight is a very flawed film. There are issues with just about every aspect, technical and artistic. The biggest problem, however, is that the popularity of the book takes all the surprise out of the movie, making this film boring.

When the young-adult novel this film is based on was breaking waves, nobody was describing it as a girl falling in love with a mysterious boy. No, they were describing it as a vampire romance, a Romeo & Juliet story with a vampire twist, or some other way that included the word ‘vampire.’ Even the marketing of the film spoiled the big reveal that the film spends an hour building toward. It ruins the suspense and leaves us with nothing to do but analyze the merits of the first hour. This is dangerous because there is plenty to gripe about if you’re not a Twihard (slang for Twilight die-hard, if it isn’t obvious).

More than enough has already been written about how poor the writing is for both the book and film but I have to comment briefly. The biggest problem I have with the writing in this film is that it presents a worldview where Bella’s wild teenage emotions are totally justified and presented as normal. I understand the importance of writing to your audience but you don’t need to validate poor decision-making. When your target audience consists of tweens and teens, I hold the author/screenwriters responsible for setting a few things straight to help readers/viewers to identify the mistakes of their heroine. There is none of that here.

Character development is another issue that plagues this film. By the end of the film, Bella knows herself and the world of vampires better but has her character actually grown? She is still the clumsy girl who makes bad decisions and can’t keep herself out of harm’s way. Edward certainly hasn’t changed either. He’s still the brooding, wannabe James Dean type. Now he just has a committed girlfriend to look after. It’s a good thing he never sleeps, because as accident-prone as Bella is, he’ll need to monitor her almost round the clock.

Chemistry between characters is hit or miss. Some of that is due to the writing, while some of it is also due some weak acting. Bella’s human friends think she’s super smart because she comes up clever ideas that work out great. Does any of this build up her confidence? Of course not. If it did, then she probably wouldn’t let Edward treat her like an object. Let’s be clear- he only grows to love her after he gets past his desire to drink her blood. There is no love at first sight- only intrigue from Bella and bloodlust from Edward. It’s a very messed up foundation for a relationship.

I think the biggest flaw of Twilight is that the filmmakers tried too hard to make up for the weak story without changing the story. Instead of making much needed improvements to the script, the studio embraces Twilight’s inherent mediocrity and runs with it. The end result is a mess of moody incidental music, spinning cameras, creepy glances, and a digitally-altered color palette that sucks a little too much color out of the world. Pile on top of this some really lousy visual effects and you have more than enough to make uninitiated folks like myself balk.

If you even out the pace of Twilight, you will end up with a better movie. Spend a little less time building up to the reveal that everyone already knows about and stretch out the cat-and-mouse game with the hunter vampire and this film may even become a taught thriller. Instead we have a whole lot of exposition and nothing happening for an hour and a half with a half hour of break-neck action at the end.

The filmmakers probably kept pretty close to the pace of the book to keep the Twihards of the world happy. Happy filmgoers generate repeat viewings and an instantaneous demand for an adaptation of the sequel novel. This is further evidence that the financial success of the book got in the way of making the film anything remotely close to an artistic success.

ORIGINAL RATING: 2.5 out of 5

NEW RATING: 2.5 out of 5

The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)

With chick-lit fans swooning like hormonal teenagers over a dreamy vampire, the first Twilight film became a little engine that could. Its success secured the adaptation of the rest of the series in short order. Success, however, is not an indicator of quality. New Moon hammers home the fact that the more things change, the more they stay the same. If you know me or have read my review for the first film, you probably know what’s coming next.

Bella doesn’t like the fact that she’s growing “older” than her vampire boyfriend Edward, so she asks him to convert her to his kind. Edward doesn’t like the fact that anytime Bella gets a paper cut his adopted ‘brother’ Jasper goes berserk and tries to attack her. In true teenage melodrama fashion, Edward blows Bella off, ends their relationship and moves out of town with his family. It’s sudden, nonsensical and (for Bella) heart-breaking.

After a few months of moping, Bella discovers that every time she does anything dangerous she sees Edward as if he were right beside her. This leads her down a path of daredevil antics that nearly gets her killed. She also gets to know her childhood pal Jacob Black, who is harboring a mysterious secret of his own. He falls in love with her but Bella doesn’t reciprocate, leading him to trick the Cullen’s into thinking that Bella has died. This drives Edward, who still loves her after all, to expose himself to humans, which will force the Volturi (a powerful group of ancient vampires) to destroy him. Catching wind of this, Bella frantically tries to stop him.

If you think I just gave away the entire plot of the film, then you haven’t seen any of the trailers. They lay out just about every detail I listed above. It’s one of the many oddities about this film series. Their marketing efforts are focused solely on those who have read the books and already know what’s going to happen. The first Twilight film fell victim to this as you had to wait around for an hour to find out the obvious- Edward is a vampire. Similarly, New Moon makes you wait roughly an hour to discover another obvious fact- Jacob is a werewolf. If you didn’t see this coming, then you haven’t seen the trailers or read the books, and your ability to pick up on foreshadowing from the first film is woefully underdeveloped.

In many ways, Bella’s discovery of Jacob’s secret mirrors her discovery of Edward’s blood-sucking tendencies in the first film. She is drawn to him only as a friend, so there is minimal hormonal lip-biting, but just like Edward, Jacob is there to save Bella from her clumsiness and poor decisions. Edward disappeared on very sunny days, driving Bella to wonder. This time, Jacob disappears for weeks on end without explanation. While Edward is cold to the touch, Jacob and his werewolf brethren are extremely warm to the touch. In fact, they generate so much body heat that young werewolf men are forced to walk around shirtless to keep cool, exposing their mega-buff bodies.

That’s right- just as author Stephanie Meyer made up a bunch of stuff about vampires for Twilight, she shows a similar disregard for historical werewolf lore in New Moon. Jacob and his tribesmen don’t turn into the traditionally hideous man-beasts of old either. Rather, they turn into gigantic wolves. Despite a larger budget, the visual effects are still sorely lacking. Also, the notion that these buff lycanthropes need to go sans-shirt panders to both the author’s and viewers’ adolescent desires to see hot guys.

One of the worst examples of story progression in recent memory occurs when Edward finally calls to check on Bella after giving her the cold, quiet treatment for months on end. Jacob is with her and answers the phone. He leads Edward to believe that his love is dead. Edward goes all suicidal vampire without even as much as a second call to anyone else who might be able to corroborate Bella’s fate.

This turning point finally produces some action, though, just like in Twilight, it comes nearly three-quarters of the way through the movie. From here on out New Moon adopts a break-neck pace that throws new faces and places at you too quickly to remember them all. Then, to top it all off, is the mother of all anticlimactic cliff-hanger endings. If nothing else, Jacob’s stern warning to Bella and Edward gives me hope that the third installment of this series will actually have some kind of sustained plot and tension running the whole way through. It would certainly be a major improvement over the first two.

Twi-hards may go gaga over this film because it brings their beloved, if not poorly-developed, characters to life. The sad truth is that New Moon repeats the Twilight formula in a way that is even less satisfying than its predecessor. If the screenwriters were true to the book than Meyer has no concept of adequate story pacing whatsoever. But perhaps the most egregious sin committed here is this: New Moon is a story that involves both vampires and werewolves yet it equates to two-plus hours of almost sheer boredom.

RATING: 2 out of 5

Twilight (2008)

Based on the hit series of teen romance novels, Twilight takes centuries of vampire lore and turns it on its head. Catering to teens with no concept of what love really is, young women who love the idea of being in love and lustful cougars who like to eye up attractive teenage boys, Twilight rises above what could have otherwise been a train wreck of epic proportions. I am by no means, however, suggesting that this film is any good.

Awkward, quasi-emo 17-year-old Bella Swan has to move in with her father while her mother’s new husband pursues a minor league baseball career in Florida. Bella moves from the sun and heat of Arizona to the perpetually cloudy town of Forks, Washington. At her new high school, Bella is big news as the new kid and she meets a variety of interesting people. She is fascinated by the odd-ball Cullen family, especially Edward. This interest is not exactly reciprocated though, as Edward seems repulsed by Forks’ newest resident.

After a few days absence, Edward returns to school and apologizes to Bella for making such a bad first impression. Like any good teenage girl, this causes Bella to swoon with infatuation for this mysterious boy sitting next to her in science class. His behavior changes almost daily between friendly and distant and from nonchalant to hovering, further confusing our poor girl. After Edward miraculously saves her life, Bella starts putting the pieces together and realizes that Edward and his family are vampires.

The fact that everyone and their uncle already knows that Twilight is about a girl falling in love with a vampire makes the first hour feel like wasted time. Fans of the book series will enjoy watching Bella’s discovery play out but, thanks to the trailers and legions of female fans raving about the books, there is little in the way of suspense or interest for the uninitiated. We already know this revelation is coming, so waiting an hour for it is frustrating.

The pace lags on for another half-hour as Bella is awkwardly introduced to Edward’s family, all of whom have sworn off drinking human blood to survive, and the two officially become something of a couple. Finally, after 90 minutes of awkward moments, lip biting, hormonal pining and stiffly delivered dialogue, something actually happens. Bella joins the Cullens for a laughable game of vampire baseball and their game is intruded upon by a trio of wandering vampires who prefer the traditional way of feeding. One of these vampires notices Bella’s scent and becomes obsessed with feeding upon her. The Cullens ward him off initially but they know that this ‘tracker’ vampire won’t stop until he drinks Bella dry.

The last quarter of the film is a blur of the Cullens trying to hide Bella, Bella being tricked out of hiding, Bella being captured by the baddie vampire and a fang-filled throw-down at the end. It’s almost enough to give you whiplash but not nearly enough to make up for the plodding pace of the first three quarters of the film.

Twilight was produced on a relatively modest budget of $37 million. Most of this budget seems to have been spent on post-production digital grading to suck most of the saturation and brightness out of the film. Everything but the greens in the forest looks unnaturally pale and bleak, the fakeness of which will drive hardcore cinephiles nuts all movie long. It seems that very little of the budget was spent on visual effects because most of the scenes involving Edward running super-fast or climbing trees with the greatest of ease will make you laugh out loud if you aren’t obsessed with the story.

The cast is made up of relative unknowns, which does help the film stay grounded as opposed to one major star being the focus. In this way, Twilight is able to use the story to draw in its audience. This is laudable in that the marketing department is forced to sell the story instead of the faces on the screen but it also does little to draw interest from anyone who hasn’t read the books.

I want to say that the actors do the best with the material they are given here. I really do. I’m just not sure I believe that. Most of the cast has never had a meaty role in their career and it shows. On top of this dearth of serous experience is a terrible script. I have yet to read the Twilight books, so I have to assume that the script is a major step down in quality. Otherwise I will have to wonder how author Stephenie Meyer ever got published.

Some of Meyer’s twists on vampire lore are interesting while others make no sense at all. The fact that the author only did cursory research into the characteristics of vampires is evident. Giving each vampire a different individual ability is a smart mechanism that allows each of the Cullen family to serve a purpose beyond being pale and intimidating. The notion of sparkly skin in the sunlight and certain humans having intoxicating scents, however, are the kind of ridiculous drivel that belongs in pulpy romance novels.

One lingering issue I have with the film is what draws our Romeo and Juliet together. Bella seems drawn to Edward largely because of his James Dean-eqsue attitude, his ability to protect her from a never-ending streak of clumsiness and stupid decisions, and simply because he is dangerous. Edward is drawn to Bella solely because her scent is like his ‘own brand of heroin.’ So basically, Edward wants to suck Bella’s blood and that turns her on. Edward seems to be settling for palling around with her since he has sworn off feeding on humans. Doesn’t anyone else find it the least bit odd that this vampire romance has almost nothing to do with love?

In the end, Twilight is a hit-or-miss kind of movie. Fans of the book series will be enthralled to see it all play out before their eyes. Some newcomers to the series may enjoy it while others will shrug their shoulders and move on. Girls and women will dig it but guys will likely be turned off by the ridiculous amounts of pining, spinning camera work, moody guitar music and teen angst designed to make you think these star-crossed lovers are every bit as important as the needlessly wordy script suggests.

RATING: 2.5 out of 5