The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn- Part 1 (2011)

I’m going to be honest right up front- this movie made me angry. After a well-put-together plot in Eclipse, what do we get? A whole lot of nothing. Maybe the inklings of a plot but the filmmakers blow it all up in order to give the fans what they want- a shamelessly indulgent squee-fest. Or maybe it’s author Stephanie Meyer’s fault for making this story what she wanted it to be. If this weren’t Twilight, I’d find it hard to believe. But this is Twilight and this is the worst kind of Twilight.

The wedding of Bella Swan and Edward Cullen finally arrives, bringing dozens of vampire friends from all over the world. After consummating their nuptials on their private-island honeymoon, Bella becomes pregnant. The fact that this is not believed to be possible, coupled with a rapidly-progressing pregnancy, sends the lovebirds back to Forks to figure out what the heck is going on. When Jacob finds out, he beats the drums of war, rallying several of his kin to destroy what they think is a monster growing in Bella’s womb.

Now for the short version: Bella and Edward get married, have sex, get pregnant, and the werewolves don’t like it. That’s about it, making this movie one gigantic frustration for those of us who prefer a little more plot and a lot less indulgence from films. There is also one of the most disturbing childbirth scenes ever put on film, further adding to the shift away from everything that was right about Eclipse.

One thing I will praise is the skin tone used in this film. Each successive Twilight film gave more and more color to the vampire characters. In Breaking Dawn, I wouldn’t even go so far as to call many of the vampires pale. They just look like they need a tad more sun is all. This leaves the werewolves as the sole annoying visual effect in the film for a change.

The pacing is dreadful, spending far too much time on the minute details of the wedding and honeymoon. That may be what Twihards really want to see but it makes the first half of the film drag on for those of us among the non-Kool-Aid drinkers. Seriously, there is no plot development until halfway through the movie. I realize that this is only the first part of a two-part story but it takes too long to reach the central conflict of this installment. Even then, Bella’s potential demon-baby drama is largely anticlimactic. In true Twilight fashion, a change of heart leads everyone to just leave the kid alone.

The film attempts to leave you with a cliffhanger but it’s really more of a teaser of what’s to come next. Did they really think that audiences would worry about Bella’s survival at all? We know there is another movie coming and the author of the books has shown no interest at all up to now in doing anything drastic or game-changing. Everyone starts and finishes more or less in the safe little bubble they were in when the movie started. Few if any chances are taken and, after four Twilight movies now, the safeness of it all is getting old.

RATING: 1.75 out of 5