Based on the hit series of teen romance novels, Twilight takes centuries of vampire lore and turns it on its head. Catering to teens with no concept of what love really is, young women who love the idea of being in love and lustful cougars who like to eye up attractive teenage boys, Twilight rises above what could have otherwise been a train wreck of epic proportions. I am by no means, however, suggesting that this film is any good.Awkward, quasi-emo 17-year-old Bella Swan has to move in with her father while her mother’s new husband pursues a minor league baseball career in Florida. Bella moves from the sun and heat of Arizona to the perpetually cloudy town of Forks, Washington. At her new high school, Bella is big news as the new kid and she meets a variety of interesting people. She is fascinated by the odd-ball Cullen family, especially Edward. This interest is not exactly reciprocated though, as Edward seems repulsed by Forks’ newest resident.
After a few days absence, Edward returns to school and apologizes to Bella for making such a bad first impression. Like any good teenage girl, this causes Bella to swoon with infatuation for this mysterious boy sitting next to her in science class. His behavior changes almost daily between friendly and distant and from nonchalant to hovering, further confusing our poor girl. After Edward miraculously saves her life, Bella starts putting the pieces together and realizes that Edward and his family are vampires.
The fact that everyone and their uncle already knows that Twilight is about a girl falling in love with a vampire makes the first hour feel like wasted time. Fans of the book series will enjoy watching Bella’s discovery play out but, thanks to the trailers and legions of female fans raving about the books, there is little in the way of suspense or interest for the uninitiated. We already know this revelation is coming, so waiting an hour for it is frustrating.
The pace lags on for another half-hour as Bella is awkwardly introduced to Edward’s family, all of whom have sworn off drinking human blood to survive, and the two officially become something of a couple. Finally, after 90 minutes of awkward moments, lip biting, hormonal pining and stiffly delivered dialogue, something actually happens. Bella joins the Cullens for a laughable game of vampire baseball and their game is intruded upon by a trio of wandering vampires who prefer the traditional way of feeding. One of these vampires notices Bella’s scent and becomes obsessed with feeding upon her. The Cullens ward him off initially but they know that this ‘tracker’ vampire won’t stop until he drinks Bella dry.
The last quarter of the film is a blur of the Cullens trying to hide Bella, Bella being tricked out of hiding, Bella being captured by the baddie vampire and a fang-filled throw-down at the end. It’s almost enough to give you whiplash but not nearly enough to make up for the plodding pace of the first three quarters of the film.
Twilight was produced on a relatively modest budget of $37 million. Most of this budget seems to have been spent on post-production digital grading to suck most of the saturation and brightness out of the film. Everything but the greens in the forest looks unnaturally pale and bleak, the fakeness of which will drive hardcore cinephiles nuts all movie long. It seems that very little of the budget was spent on visual effects because most of the scenes involving Edward running super-fast or climbing trees with the greatest of ease will make you laugh out loud if you aren’t obsessed with the story.
The cast is made up of relative unknowns, which does help the film stay grounded as opposed to one major star being the focus. In this way, Twilight is able to use the story to draw in its audience. This is laudable in that the marketing department is forced to sell the story instead of the faces on the screen but it also does little to draw interest from anyone who hasn’t read the books.
I want to say that the actors do the best with the material they are given here. I really do. I’m just not sure I believe that. Most of the cast has never had a meaty role in their career and it shows. On top of this dearth of serous experience is a terrible script. I have yet to read the Twilight books, so I have to assume that the script is a major step down in quality. Otherwise I will have to wonder how author Stephenie Meyer ever got published.
Some of Meyer’s twists on vampire lore are interesting while others make no sense at all. The fact that the author only did cursory research into the characteristics of vampires is evident. Giving each vampire a different individual ability is a smart mechanism that allows each of the Cullen family to serve a purpose beyond being pale and intimidating. The notion of sparkly skin in the sunlight and certain humans having intoxicating scents, however, are the kind of ridiculous drivel that belongs in pulpy romance novels.
One lingering issue I have with the film is what draws our Romeo and Juliet together. Bella seems drawn to Edward largely because of his James Dean-eqsue attitude, his ability to protect her from a never-ending streak of clumsiness and stupid decisions, and simply because he is dangerous. Edward is drawn to Bella solely because her scent is like his ‘own brand of heroin.’ So basically, Edward wants to suck Bella’s blood and that turns her on. Edward seems to be settling for palling around with her since he has sworn off feeding on humans. Doesn’t anyone else find it the least bit odd that this vampire romance has almost nothing to do with love?
In the end, Twilight is a hit-or-miss kind of movie. Fans of the book series will be enthralled to see it all play out before their eyes. Some newcomers to the series may enjoy it while others will shrug their shoulders and move on. Girls and women will dig it but guys will likely be turned off by the ridiculous amounts of pining, spinning camera work, moody guitar music and teen angst designed to make you think these star-crossed lovers are every bit as important as the needlessly wordy script suggests.
RATING: 2.5 out of 5
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