Poltergeist (1982)

More often than not, films billed under the horror genre leave much to be desired. Older horror films may come off as hokey with dated effects and an obviously low production budget, while modern horror films serve as little more than a test to see how much gratuitous violence and chunky gore you can handle. The sad truth of the horror genre is that very few horror films, or “scary movies,” are actually scary. Poltergeist is a rare horror film that actually delivers the scares.

There are two common misconceptions in the horror genre. The first is that members of the cast are expendable. The second is that violence is scary. Producer Steven Spielberg clearly knew that both of those misconceptions were untrue when bringing Poltergeist to life.

Instead of making a film about a bunch of otherwise uninteresting people getting picked off one by one by a mysterious, unseen killer, Poltergeist is a film about a middle class family that, though already struggling with their fair share of issues as it is, experiences bizarre and unexplained phenomena that threaten them individually and as a family unit. There is more to build off of emotionally when your main characters are related to each other and love each other in ways that a group of friends or strangers cannot even begin to approach.

While horror films often times include characters like the goofy stoner friend or the sex-crazed boyfriend/girlfriend, not everybody has friends or experienced people like this. Most moviegoers, however, do know what it’s like to have a mom or a dad, sisters and/or brothers, or some other relative or someone they consider family that cares for them on a deep, nurturing level. Because of this, there’s more for a viewer to connect with in Poltergeist.

The film also makes perfect use of its child actors. Poltergeist puts the children in harm’s way (sometimes to a very great extent) and that is one of the easiest ways to elicit fear in the minds of viewers. We seem hardwired to view children as innocent and precious and seeing them in danger somehow sits wrong with nearly everyone. This makes the fear, worry and panic from the girl’s parents resonate all the more hauntingly in the finished product.

An interesting bit of trivia for you is that, despite the horror label attached to it, nobody dies in Poltergeist. How many horror films can boast that? This proves that a high body count isn’t necessary. In fact, a body count is only really needed when a film is loaded with flat and underdeveloped (sometimes undeveloped) characters. Poltergeist ratchets up the fear and sense of danger by continually investing in the small, tight-knit cast it has. Five family members, a few supporting ghost hunters and a creepy house. That’s all it took for Poltergeist to be a winning formula. It’s clearly the work of Spielberg, taking a small cast and developing them to the fullest. He’s always been a very complete kind of filmmaker.

The other thing that makes Poltergeist stand out from the crowd is the lack of violence. While there is aggression and violence dished out by the house and supernatural elements within it, there isn’t any horror genre violence performed between the human cast. Instead, the film uses the intrigue and terror of the unknown and supernatural to keep you on the edge of your seats. Instead of hacked-off limbs and gore, some of Poltergeist’s most chilling moments are the quiet ones. Stillness and quiet are often times infinitely more terrifying than any masked killer.

Everything is utilized to its maximum potential in this film. It’s taught without stringing you along and scary without grossing you out. A few of the visual effects look dated but this film still manages to stand the test of time. While haunted house tales aren’t exactly anything new, Poltergeist crafts a jarring experience by telling its story through the all-too-real lens of the American family.

RATING: 4 out of 5

Dirty Dancing (1987)

One of the most talked-about and hyped up chick flicks of all time, Dirty Dancing fits into the mold of 80s coming-of-age films but also establishes itself alongside Flashdance and Footloose as one of the Big Three 80s dance movies. Aside from the music and dancing, though, this movie does very little to distinguish itself from other mediocre teenage romances.

After years of telling my wife that I’d watch it someday, that someday finally came. Dirty Dancing isn’t nearly as bad as I was expecting, but outside of the dancing and killer soundtrack, the film is hardly remarkable and very little of it is even memorable.

Jennifer Grey stars as Frances “Baby” Houseman, a 17-year old on the verge of womanhood. Set in 1963, Baby and her family head to a well-to-do resort in upstate New York to mingle with other rich folk and ignoring the problems of the world. The hoity-toity young lass finds herself falling in love with the working class dance instructor at the resort, causing her to question some of the things she’s been raised to believe.

Hardly an original concept, this tale of forbidden love is enhanced by the film’s soundtrack. Instead of just using the soundtrack as incidental music, the songs heard throughout the movie are more often than not coming through somebody’s radio or record player. For this, Dirty Dancing rises above other 80s flicks that merely included radio-friendly songs as a means of being hip and pushing soundtrack sales numbers.

Using some very popular songs and some classics that had been largely forgotten about, Dirty Dancing breaks away from most of the 80s teen and chick flick pack through its music and accompanying choreography. Baby is introduced to the world of “dirty dancing” through her new working class friends. Some of the dancing is raunchy but for the most part it’s just kids having wild fun listening to the hot new rock ‘n’ roll sounds.

There is some drama that causes Baby to get pulled further into the life of her new friends and ever closer to dance instructor Johnny (played by Patrick Swayze, as if I had to tell you). Things get steamy as Baby undergoes a sexual awakening. The only problem I had with all this is that Baby is a minor. Sure, she’s 17 and that’s the age of consent in some states, but sexually liberating minors always makes me cringe a little. It’s easy to forget Baby’s age, as Jennifer Grey was 26 when the film was made. It’s funny how most movies about teens have casts full of twentysomethings.

In the end, Dirty Dancing turns out to be on the high end of the chick flick spectrum. Then again, that only gets you so far. It’s, as I like to say, mostly harmless as a film. For guys out there who may be dreading it- don’t. It’s really not that bad. It’s not fantastic, but it’s not that bad. Is it worth all the spoofs, jokes and clichés that have emanated from it? Probably. Is it going to make you want to want to tear up your Man Card? That depends on your personality.

After watching Dirty Dancing, my Man Card is intact. It’s an easy watch for the girls and easy to get through for the guys. You can do better in the realm of chick flicks (though that would mean delving into actual romance films) but you could certainly do a lot worse.

RATING: 3.25 out of 5

The Princess Bride (1987)

This tongue-in-cheek send up of fairy tale renaissance romance has become something of a cult classic. It features superb acting, cheeky humor, clever dialog and not a hint of self-importance. The world of The Princess Bride is full of colorful characters, lush scenery and the kind of on-screen magic that cult classics are made of.

The tale of The Princess Bride is itself as story within a story. A young boy, Fred Savage, is sick and his grandfather is watching him for the day. He reads from a book of the same name and is met throughout the film by commentary from his grandson, who is disapproving towards such mushy fairy tale junk. The grandfather persists and sucks his grandson and the audience into the tale of Westley and Princess Buttercup.

On the surface, it’s a standard tale of two lovers separated by distance and time. The hero makes his way through a series of escalating perils to return to his true love. The challenges he faces are bizarre and the woman he fights for is lovely, though otherwise unimpressive. This is the true test to any live-action fairy tale- making the characters likable.

If you plucked most fairy tale heroes and their women out of the books and put them in real life, the men would typically be arrogant and full of themselves while the women would mostly seem vain and naïve at best. If we met them on the street, the good guys in fairy tales wouldn’t be very likeable. The fact that the actors have put aside any reservations and absorbed themselves so deeply into these shallow characters makes The Princess Bride all the better. They don’t try to humanize them or rationalize their actions. They portray everything deadpan but they don’t shy away from including the more cartoonish elements to this very flesh-and-blood film.

As I think it probably is with most fairy tales, it’s the supporting cast that makes the movie. The princess and the hero are to be expected, but in order to like either of them you need a villain who is foul and far more arrogant and conceited than the hero. Only then will audiences sympathize with the hero’s quest and his love’s longing to be rid of her captor.

While the villain is the most essential supporting player, you also need lackeys for both sides of the battle. In The Princess Bride, the evil Prince Humperdinck has his sidekick and the hero, Westely, picks up his band of helpers along the way. With a cold calculating six-fingered count, a Spaniard bent on revenge and André the Giant in your supporting roles, you can’t help but be entertained. Throw in an inspired cameo performance by Billy Crystal (under heavy makeup) and you’ve got yourself a winner.

Pulling all this comedic potential together is director Rob Reiner. Made during his heyday, Reiner knew just where to find the funny in each and every scene. While not every moment of the film is amusing and enjoyable, Reiner creates some classic scenes that have been cherished and recited by fans for over 20 years now. Though far from perfect, The Princess Bride is a light and fun tale that can be enjoyed by those who love silly romantic fairy tales and those that love to make fun of them.

RATING: 3.75 out of 5