Home on the Range (2004)

To be completely honest, I had to look up this film online to refresh my memory of the plot points. That sentence alone should tell you loud and clear what kind of impression this film makes on its audience. This is pretty much lowest-common denominator Disney. It may satisfy visually but without memorable characters or a compelling story, there is nothing to recommend here outside of a momentary distraction.

After the rest of her herd is stolen by the dastardly Alameda Slim (Randy Quaid), Maggie (Roseanne Barr), is sold to the Patch of Heaven farm, where she butts heads with two prim and proper cows named Grace (Jennifer Tilly) and Mrs. Calloway (Judi Dench). When Patch of Heaven is threatened with foreclosure, Maggie convinces the other cows to band together and find a way to raise enough money to save the farm. Upon learning that the bounty on Alameda Slim is the exact amount needed to save their home, Maggie steers the trio headlong into an adventure that is as revealing as it is dangerous.

The basic plot of this film has been done more times than I can count. Whether it’s winning a contest, putting on a show, or (in this case) finding something to claim a reward, we’ve seen this outline too many times before to even mistake it as original. Using an archetypal story isn’t a sin, however. The real problem is that Disney fails to give Home on the Range any satisfying twists on said archetypal story. Oh sure, there are outlandish deviations from the blueprint but perhaps a yodeling cattle rustler is a little too out there to be accepted by anyone who has finished elementary school.

The timing of Home on the Range is tragic. Computer-animated films had taken over and Disney, reading the writing on the wall, decided to make one last traditional animated film for nostalgia’s sake. The animation in this film showcases the sad slide in quality that befell Disney over a half-dozen years. It’s not bad but it’s often no better than Disney’s TV cartoons (if they even still made them for afternoon and Saturday morning TV by 2004).

The characters in this film are hit or miss. Roseanne Barr’s sassy, blue-collar wit is something I grew up with, so that may explain why I’m okay with Maggie. She is a little paint-by-numbers but the personality injected by the voice actor goes a long way. I cannot say that the same goes for the rest of the cast. Grace and Mrs. Calloway fall under the typical goodie-goodie types who grow to appreciate their boisterous colleague but never really approve of her behavior. It’s more solidarity than sisterhood. Everyone else is just there to fill a role and provide their own brief moment of uniqueness but they fail to leave a mark.

When a film alternates between trying too hard and not trying hard enough, it makes it hard to know what to think. This review feels almost like a collection of incomplete thoughts but maybe that’s less of strike against me and more of a strike against the film. As far as Disney films go, Home on the Range is terrible. Fortunately, terrible for Disney is still a mostly-harmless way to kill some time if you absolutely must.

RATING: 2.75 out of 5

Ernest Goes to Camp (1987)

Just like Short Circuit, this is a film that I watched on a regular basis growing up. My grandparents had recorded it off one of those free movie channel previews and my sister and I probably pushed that poor VHS tape to its limit by the time we were old enough to stay at home on our own after school. It’s far from great cinema but Ernest Goes to Camp is great fun.

Ernest P. Worrell (Jim Varney) is the facilities handyman at Kamp Kikakee, a summer adventure camp for boys that was once the site of a Native American tribe known for its trials for ushering boys into manhood. Longing to become a camp counselor, Ernest gets his chance when no one is willing to take charge of a group of delinquents from a nearby juvenile detention facility. While Ernest struggles to engage the defiant youths, he also inadvertently gets used by a local mining executive who wants to steal Kamp Kikakee from Chief Saint Cloud, who speaks no English.

I don’t think any of the Ernest films qualify as anything but a guilty pleasure, but I don’t see any harm in liking this movie. This was the first true Ernest film, coming on the heels of a successful string of commercials and a few direct-to-video releases. Despite being dimwitted and klutzy, Ernest lets down his wide smile several times to show a caring sincerity that is absent in many of the other adults around him. He may have the enthusiasm of a child, which is why many people in this film disregard him, but it is also an innocent enthusiasm. Part of this man wasn’t forced to grow up, providing a spastic and hilarious conduit between children and adults.

While Varney obviously commits to his role with zeal, credit has to be given to the child actors working most closely with him. They do a good job selling the tough-guy delinquent attitude their characters need, even if none of them seem particularly imposing or muscular enough to actually be in juvie. They may be based on delinquent stereotypes fitting of late-teen thugs but they do their best with what they’ve got. Their slow turnaround from apathy doesn’t feel as phony as some kid-focused movies. That’s probably because the filmmakers focus more on entertaining audiences than trying to inspire them with clichéd aww-shucks moments.

The story isn’t very original or compelling (David v. Goliath, standing up for what’s right, and learning responsibility) but it is very fun to watch. Ernest constantly breaks the fourth wall, which signals to the audience that Ernest is aware of how crazy all his antics really are. This breaks down the forced sense of objectivity that the fourth wall represents, allowing us to take the film as seriously or lightly as we choose. I choose to take it lightly and I think that makes all the difference.

RATING: 2.75 out of 5