Superman Returns (2006)

I am a big fan of Superman: The Movie and I can at least appreciate what its three sequels tried to offer. Therefore, I was very wary of this film. There is a good reason why it took so long to make another Superman movie- it will ultimately be compared to Richard Donner’s outstanding 1978 classic. While Superman Returns is appreciable in its own right, there is just no comparison to be made.

Superman Returns takes a very unique approach to the Superman legacy. Instead of a brand-new origin story film (which worked quite well for the Batman Begins) or picking up where Superman IV left off, Returns completely disregards the events of Superman III and IV. Even though Superman: The Movie took place in the 1970s, Returns plays it off as only being 5 years since Superman II. There’s a very modern setting with very modern dangers.

Superman at some point decided to go back to his home world of Krypton. Finding nothing there, he heads back to Earth. All this time away occurs over a period of five years. Since then, the world has changed. America (and the world) has grown used to not having Superman around to protect them. Lois Lane even wrote a Pulitzer Prize-winning article called “Why the World Doesn’t Need Superman.”

Kal-El is shocked to see that no one really misses him, so he tries to ease his way back into society as Clark Kent. Friendly faces are glad to have Kent back but he’s still shocked at how much things have changed.

But not all things have changed though. Lex Luthor, played very well by Kevin Spacey, is out of jail. Since Superman missed Lex’s trial and wasn’t able to testify against him, Lex got off scott free. He has married a sweet old lady who dies and leaves millions of dollars to him on her deathbed. He uses this money to track down Superman’s abandoned fortress of solitude in the arctic and steals all of the information crystals therein.

While experimenting on the crystals, Luthor discovers that the crystals grow enormously when placed in water. He hatches yet another diabolical real estate scheme- by placing these crystals in the ocean, he can create a massive new continent that will destroy other parts of the world, thus making him the most powerful landowner on Earth. By encasing the crystals in kryptonite, he can ensure that Superman will be powerless to stop him, as his new continent will weaken the Man of Steel.

Superman battles against Lex and a number of other small-time crooks along the way. There are flashy fight sequences and lots of CGI to showcase some of Superman’s power. Seriously though, we did not need a super-slow-motion sequence showing a bullet shattering off of Superman’s eyeball. While it all makes sense to use the CGI to show off the Man of Steel’s skills, it all seems a little unnecessary at the same time.

Superman also has to face his demons with Lois Lane. She’s moved on, had a kid and is engaged to another guy. They sort of patch things up, but it’s left kind of in limbo. Turns out, the kid belongs to Superman and he will likely be just as “talented” as his dad.

Lex Luthor puts up a good fight, but it is Superman we’re talking about here, remember?

Superman Returns is good in that director Bryan Singer didn’t attempt to make the film a carbon copy of the kitschy originals or take it off into a bold new direction. The problem is that by trying to treat the Superman legacy with respect, Singer creates a fairly bland story. Maybe the young actors (Brandon Routh and Kate Bosworth) need more time to come into their roles, but something felt off there. There wasn’t the same kind of feel-good chemistry between Lois and Clark as there should have been.

The plot was also kind of flat as well. Yes, Luthor comes up with a way to create all kinds of destruction and Superman thwarts him. It’s time-honored Superman, but it’s not fresh. Superman Returns is watchable and features fresh faces and flashy graphics, but something is missing from the heart and spirit of this film, which is what makes Superman what he is and what makes a Superman movie worthwhile.

RATING: 3 out of 5

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007)

WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!

This film suffers from a case of toomuchitis. It is a prime example overindulgence in cinema and it brings the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy to a far from satisfying conclusion.

Lord Beckett, now in possession of Davy Jones’ heart, uses Jones to track down and kill as many pirates as possible. The pirates, of course, are not happy about this and sing a creepy pirate song to summon the nine pirate lords to council together to take action against Beckett. The only problem is that Captain Jack Sparrow is one of the pirate lords and is, well, dead. Sort of. He is trapped in Davy Jones’ locker, so his friends and associates band together to rescue him.

To do this they need to steal a map from Sao Feng, a pirate lord from Singapore. There is lying, stealing, action and adventure that all starts out the film making very little sense. It is very hard to figure out what is going on and it is even more difficult to try and piece together the plot as it is dispensed piece by piece throughout the film. Deals are made and broken; agreements are made and abandoned; and it’s all so long and confusing that it barely makes any sense.

The first hour focuses on rescuing Sparrow from Davy Jones’ Locker, which features Jack commanding a ship crewed by multiple versions of him. This essentially drives Sparrow and the audience a little bonkers. One Jack is enough, thank you very much. Their escape is bizarre and long-winded.

The story next moves onto all the swindling, double-crossing, deal-making and fighting. None of the double-crosses and the numerous sub-plots play out as well as Disney hoped they would. Instead of an inspired tale of twists and turns, I was left to ask “Huh?” far too frequently for any movie.

It’s sometimes hard to tell what is driving the characters as well. Are they acting upon old information we were supposed to remember from the first two films or is there something new going on? Speaking of characters, several supporting characters have reduced roles and either fade to the background or are rubbed out of the story completely.

Most of the visual effects are pretty good, but there is a sense of “been there, done that” in At World’s End. It’s hard to make naval battles look fresh and original in the third installment of the series, and the music falls back on familiar themes and never really hammers home the action with fresh beats or twists on the old familiar score.

So, in some ways, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End suffers in excess, but those same examples of excess are also examples of not enough. While the film is nearly 3 hours long, there’s not enough action or cognizant story to make it all worthwhile. While there is an overabundance of neat CGI work, there’s not enough character and emotion behind it all to make you care one way or another about the characters.

The final two insults come at the end of the film.

First, Will Turner (played by Orlando Bloom) is killed by Davy Jones. Will gets some semblance of revenge by stabbing Jones’ heart, thereby taking over as captain of The Flying Dutchman, but as captain he may only step foot on dry land once every 10 years, royally screwing up any kind of happy ending for Will and Elizabeth (Kiera Knightley). It’s a very dour way to conclude your story. Evidently there is a clip at the end of the credits that undoes all of this, but that seems to fly in the face of all the information given to us in the film.

Secondly, it’s left somewhat open-ended. Jack is cast off the Black Pearl yet again but he first steals a map pointing the way to Florida and the supposed location of the fountain of youth. This leaves the door open for Disney to make yet another Pirates film should they choose to do so. This essentially leaves us like the first installment left us- with some form of resolution, but not enough to go home and be completely satisfied and assured that the tale is over.

To be frank, At World’s End does a poor job of wrapping things up from Dead Man’s Chest because it adds too many new things to the mix to iron out evenly at the end. It is too long, too twisty-turny and spends too much time reveling in Jack Sparrow because it thinks that is what we want.

If you have only seen the first installment, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, stop where you are. Parts 2 and 3 will only dilute the fun and satisfaction of the original.

RATING: 2.5 out of 5