Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007)

WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!

This film suffers from a case of toomuchitis. It is a prime example overindulgence in cinema and it brings the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy to a far from satisfying conclusion.

Lord Beckett, now in possession of Davy Jones’ heart, uses Jones to track down and kill as many pirates as possible. The pirates, of course, are not happy about this and sing a creepy pirate song to summon the nine pirate lords to council together to take action against Beckett. The only problem is that Captain Jack Sparrow is one of the pirate lords and is, well, dead. Sort of. He is trapped in Davy Jones’ locker, so his friends and associates band together to rescue him.

To do this they need to steal a map from Sao Feng, a pirate lord from Singapore. There is lying, stealing, action and adventure that all starts out the film making very little sense. It is very hard to figure out what is going on and it is even more difficult to try and piece together the plot as it is dispensed piece by piece throughout the film. Deals are made and broken; agreements are made and abandoned; and it’s all so long and confusing that it barely makes any sense.

The first hour focuses on rescuing Sparrow from Davy Jones’ Locker, which features Jack commanding a ship crewed by multiple versions of him. This essentially drives Sparrow and the audience a little bonkers. One Jack is enough, thank you very much. Their escape is bizarre and long-winded.

The story next moves onto all the swindling, double-crossing, deal-making and fighting. None of the double-crosses and the numerous sub-plots play out as well as Disney hoped they would. Instead of an inspired tale of twists and turns, I was left to ask “Huh?” far too frequently for any movie.

It’s sometimes hard to tell what is driving the characters as well. Are they acting upon old information we were supposed to remember from the first two films or is there something new going on? Speaking of characters, several supporting characters have reduced roles and either fade to the background or are rubbed out of the story completely.

Most of the visual effects are pretty good, but there is a sense of “been there, done that” in At World’s End. It’s hard to make naval battles look fresh and original in the third installment of the series, and the music falls back on familiar themes and never really hammers home the action with fresh beats or twists on the old familiar score.

So, in some ways, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End suffers in excess, but those same examples of excess are also examples of not enough. While the film is nearly 3 hours long, there’s not enough action or cognizant story to make it all worthwhile. While there is an overabundance of neat CGI work, there’s not enough character and emotion behind it all to make you care one way or another about the characters.

The final two insults come at the end of the film.

First, Will Turner (played by Orlando Bloom) is killed by Davy Jones. Will gets some semblance of revenge by stabbing Jones’ heart, thereby taking over as captain of The Flying Dutchman, but as captain he may only step foot on dry land once every 10 years, royally screwing up any kind of happy ending for Will and Elizabeth (Kiera Knightley). It’s a very dour way to conclude your story. Evidently there is a clip at the end of the credits that undoes all of this, but that seems to fly in the face of all the information given to us in the film.

Secondly, it’s left somewhat open-ended. Jack is cast off the Black Pearl yet again but he first steals a map pointing the way to Florida and the supposed location of the fountain of youth. This leaves the door open for Disney to make yet another Pirates film should they choose to do so. This essentially leaves us like the first installment left us- with some form of resolution, but not enough to go home and be completely satisfied and assured that the tale is over.

To be frank, At World’s End does a poor job of wrapping things up from Dead Man’s Chest because it adds too many new things to the mix to iron out evenly at the end. It is too long, too twisty-turny and spends too much time reveling in Jack Sparrow because it thinks that is what we want.

If you have only seen the first installment, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, stop where you are. Parts 2 and 3 will only dilute the fun and satisfaction of the original.

RATING: 2.5 out of 5

Finding Neverland* (2004)

This is an impressive movie. Not only is the acting superb, but the story itself is charming, tragic and wonderful. Johnny Depp plays J. M. Barrie, author of the children’s classic Peter Pan. In Finding Neverland, Barrie is struggling to create a successful play. He finds his inspiration at a local park, where he encounters several boys playing. Their imagination fuels his creativity and he begins to see them quite often.

In semi-biographical films such as this, I often wonder how much is actually true. Often times certain elements seem exaggerated and take me out of the film, but Finding Neverland keeps a hold of you pretty well. While I found several historical inaccuracies when looking up information on Barrie’s life, they are mostly amenable as creative and artistic liberties.

Probably the most enjoyable aspect of this film is watching all the little pieces of Peter Pan fall into place. Elements and themes that would make their way into Barrie’s play are noticeable throughout the film, be they subtle or pronounced. This accomplishes the film’s goal of showing two stories come together during the same film: the story of Barrie’s inspiration and the creation of Peter Pan.

Kate Winslet is always enjoyable and Johnny Depp’s performance seems downright normal for a change. I think it was a very wise career decision for him, as he is enabled to portray a quirky and sometimes eccentric character that is actually believable. Barrie is not a caricature or overzealous creation- he was a real man. Perhaps this causes Depp to restrain himself from anything over the top- had he gone too far, critics would have torn him apart. Maybe that pressure helped him.

Regardless, Finding Neverland is similar to Big Fish and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind- there’s really not much out there that’s quite like it. I think it was a good choice as a Best Picture nominee, being a unique film with solid performances and a healthy range of emotions. Nicely done.

RATING: 3.75 out of 5

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)

Did we really need a sequel? Aside from the fact that the first Pirates film raked in an unexpected $300+ million in the US alone, and besides the fact that Johnny Depp plays the least creepy and most commercially acceptable performance of his career and is absolutely hysterical while doing so, and besides the fact that the first Pirates film was a down-right fun movie experience, did we really need a sequel?

The correct answer is “No” but when you get all the above mentioned items to align in a single film, money becomes more important than art. Dead Man’s Chest is a rousing popcorn pleaser, but it can't live up to the success of the original. Even longer than the overlong Curse of the Black Pearl, Dead Man’s Chest outstays its welcome, only to inform you at the end that there will be no resolution until you cough up $8 next summer for the third and “final” installment. Trying to force a sequel like this is dangerous. It can work out well, like Star Wars or Back to the Future, or it could blow up in your face, like the second and third Matrix movies.

The story is stretched far too long, and there are too many subplots, but the most disturbing thing for me about Dead Man’s Chest is that the music, which was so iconic and superb in the first film, has little punch or flair whatsoever. A few recycled bits and pieces here and there, but there was never a moment where the music swept you up and carried you through the action as wonderfully as in the original. That let me down a great deal.

The comedy is played up a little too corny and recycled sight gags made me snicker more than laugh. Orlando Bloom hasn’t improved as an actor in five years, but Keira Knightley is smoking hot and Johnny Depp is still largely funny. The only way for Dead Man’s Chest to become an essential in your DVD collection is if the third film, At World’s End is as good as the first. All in all, a fairly decent popcorn adventure flick.

RATING: 3.25 out of 5

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)

Johnny Depp fans, drug users, and existentialists alike have been raving about this movie ever since it came out. There was some serious buzz generated around it when I was in high school, and everyone seemed to imply that A) it is a must see movie and B) it will change your life.

It’s not, and it won’t. Unless of course you happen to be a Johnny Depp fan, a drug user or an existentialist.

Maybe it fell victim to nearly a decade’s worth of hype, but I was disappointed with Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Johnny Depp really creates his character with vivid, almost disturbing, realism. His commitment to the character is the strong point of the film. The story has its moments of strengths, but grows tiresome at the end. Depp plays real-life “writer” Hunter S. Thompson as he wanders through the wastelands of America to cover some story for a newspaper or magazine (I don’t honestly recall which). To help cope with his assignment, he and his partner have a case full of narcotics, a veritable who’s who of psychoactive substances.

They shoot up, get high, wander around, and barely remember to cover their assignment. The film reaches a breaking point in which the two become so hopelessly strung out on drugs that they don’t remember what’s happened for some period of time, which is probably a good thing. The film shows how drugs distort and ultimately destroy one’s mind, and yet, while Depp’s character sobers up and seems like he’s getting off the horse, he’s reassigned and restocks his stash for another merry adventure in semi-unconsciousness. Roll credits. The End.

The film doesn’t try to validate the irresponsible abuse of drugs, but it also certainly doesn’t attempt to tell its audience to steer clear of them. It’s a semi-biographical movie about a quasi-remembered trip. The final half hour plods along with uncertainty as to whether Depp’s character is going to resolve this mess and whether there needed to be an additional 30 minutes to the story.

The movie doesn’t have a statement to make, it doesn’t stand for anything, and there’s not much plot progression outside of a couple of strung out junkies. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas is simply there to be there, which it does quite well.

RATING: 3 out of 5

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)

I think if you put Michael Jackson in charge of a candy company the outcome would be fairly similar to this “re-imagining” of Roald Dahl’s classic children’s story.

Johnny Depp is known for playing some really out-there characters (Ed Wood anybody?), but his abuse of creative liberty as Willy Wonka is downright creepy, looking and acting like a child molester.

Evidently Roald Dahl wasn’t fond of the now-classic 1971 musical version of his story and sold the rights to have it remade shortly before he died. His surviving family allegedly oversaw every aspect of the production and all creative decisions that went into this flick.

I realize now that this means that Dahl’s family realized that they could make serious cash off of the remake because everyone would pique their interests in what the remake was like. Director Tim Burton floods the film with his standard lot of unnecessary imagery, set designs and camera work. It’s also got a minor Gothic aftertaste that Burton seems to command.

Burton claims it's not a remake, but I’ve got news for you- once a film based on a book or other source material has been made, any other “versions” that come after it are remakes. And remakes almost always pale in comparison to the original. This one sure does.

RATING: 2.75 out of 5