In my quest to watch bad films to help fill out the lower half of my rating scale I had a tough decision to make. Anyone familiar with the TV show Mystery Science Theater 3000 knows that the cast watches lousy movies and makes fun of those films while watching. Could I watch the MST3K version of the films while still giving it an accurate and impartial assessment? Hopefully you don’t think this damages my aspirations for credibility, because my answer was yes.
Thorne Sherman and his first mate are supply runners to various island residents in, what is presumably, the Caribbean. One day their run takes them to an island inhabited by a reclusive scientist, his daughter and assistants, all shut up in a secure compound. Through small talk while unloading the supplies, the scientist reveals that he is carrying out experiments for ‘the betterment of mankind.’ He is working on a procedure to create half-sized humans in an effort to reduce world hunger. Through his experiments though, the scientist also created a breed of over-sized, venomous shrews, which inhabit the island.
Before Thorne and his mate can leave the island behind, a hurricane approaches, making the waters unsafe for travel. Forced to stay the night, they must endure an attack by a pack of the mutated shrews. The presence of the newcomers causes tensions to rise amongst the scientist's helpers. During a scuffle, the shrews are able to breach the compound. Thorne and the science team are forced to find a way to work together to escape certain death.
The fact that Mystery Science Theater 3000 included this on their show should tell you that this is a terrible film. There is no sugar-coating it- this film is bad. How bad, you ask? Let me put it this way- this movie is so pathetic that it’s only worth seeing if you watch the MST3K treatment. Many viewers will still feel as though they wasted their time, however, so consider yourself warned.
If you find yourself watching the original version of The Killer Shrews, be prepared for countless pregnant pauses, lots of staring, poorly delivered dialogue, and, of course, killer shrews. The antagonists of the film are easily among the least scary monsters ever to fumble across the screen. The killer shrews are nothing more than dogs draped in furry sheets with masks on their heads.
The story itself is absurd, especially the romance that develops, literally overnight, between Thorne and the scientist’s daughter. No explanation is given about why the scientist experimented on making shrews larger when he was really trying to make humans smaller. Sure, having large, venomous shrews running around creates the drama necessary for the film to even exist but why shrews?
The Killer Shrews may have the potential to be an amusing, tongue-in-cheek B-movie made for fun and with no real expectation of being taken seriously (a la Snakes on a Plane). The trouble lies in the fact that no one but Z-list actors would even want to approach such a film and no one with half a brain cell would pay full theater ticket price to see it. This film seems destined to remain a terrible example of cinema that is only made watchable by people making fun of it.
In my quest to watch bad films to help fill out the lower half of my rating scale I had a tough decision to make. Anyone familiar with the TV show Mystery Science Theater 3000 knows that the cast watches lousy movies and makes fun of those films while watching. Could I watch the MST3K version of the films while still giving it an accurate and impartial assessment? Hopefully you don’t think this damages my aspirations for credibility, because my answer was yes.
No comments:
Post a Comment