WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!Spider-Man 2 was on the cusp of greatness. The writing and acting were superb; it had the right amount of cheeky humor inherent to the Spider-Man comics; and the digital effects, though pretty dated and mediocre looking now, were adequate. Spider-Man 2 left me with high hopes for the third and (supposedly) final installment to the series.
Needless to say, I was let down. And none too gently. While Spider-Man 3 does grow in some areas, it falls short in too many other aspects to be considered a worthy installment in the series.
Some of the characters have matured and show more depth and range of emotions. For instance, Mary Jane Watson is no longer just a starry-eyed, melon-breasted girl missing the obvious affections of her pal Peter Parker. This time around, she and Peter are struggling to keep their relationship afloat. She has real needs, desires and demands.
Peter, on the other hand, has selflessly devoted most of his life to being Spider-Man and helping out the cops fight crime in New York City. He’s grown more adept at balancing his studies and scratching a living off photojournalism as well. Unfortunately, Peter has unwittingly let being Spider-Man go to his head and it is slowly destroying his relationship with Mary Jane.
MJ has become an up-and-coming starlet of the stage and struggles with feelings of inadequacy, especially with having her every move and nuance scrutinized by relentless critics that will either make or break her young career. Peter, being the nerdy guy that he is, attempts to help his girlfriend cope with all this by comparing it to how he is scrutinized as Spider-Man.
To be honest, I thought it was initially a very good comparison. Of course, up to that point we had seen very little of Peter Parker’s selfish and conceited behavior outside of putting on a show kiss as Spider-Man with the police chief’s daughter during a publicity event. Herein lies the first problem of the movie-
The filmmakers should have established Peter’s internal conflict as a more innocent battle against his own ego. Instead of shedding a bad ego, Peter/Spider-Man should be entering a new phase of growth in dealing with his dual roles in life. The problem truly is innocent at first- Peter, being the nerd that he is, just gets excited and embraces all his ups and downs as Spider-Man to try and help out. It’s the only part of his life that allows him to even be able to compare with Mary Jane’s quest for stardom, but she doesn’t even want to hear it.
Hearing one talk about their alter ego all the time would be annoying, but Mary Jane (and all women as well) need to be reminded that men are not psychic. If you’re having issues and the way we’re trying to help you cope isn’t working, tell us. Don’t leave things for us to try and infer based on a mopey face, teary eyes and a warbling voice. It just goes to show you that communication issues can plague any couple. Superhero/wannabe celebrity couples doubly so.
From here, the film descends into blandness. While the decision to make Peter and Mary Jane’s relationship struggles one of the centerpieces of the overall story (a pretty good idea in my opinion), it ultimately takes over too much of the film’s running time. New characters like Gwen Stacy, Sandman and Venom aren’t developed enough to make them anything but momentary distractions and obligatory subplot inclusions, as a stand-alone fractured romance tale would draw nothing but ire from comic book fanboys and those who have enjoyed the series thus far. Even series regular James Franco’s Harry Osborne/New Goblin role seems underdeveloped and misused.
The overall plot is Peter and Mary Jane’s relationship issues, but of course things just have to get in the way. A freaky alien symbiote falls to earth during a meteor shower and it follows Peter and latches onto him. It alters his mentality and his emotional status. He becomes even more arrogant and aggressive. He eventually rids himself of it, which results in a man named Eddie Brock becoming the next host and turning into the evil character Venom. He and Sandman cause a ruckus and Spider-Man ends up teaming up with the New Goblin, his former best friend Harry, to save the day.
The Sandman is Flint Marko, played by Thomas Hayden Church. He is an escaped convict that falls into a sand pit being used for some bizarre physics experiment, the purpose of which is never actually explained. The result is a complete alteration of his body’s composition, reducing him to nothing but particles of sand and silica dust which he can move and mold into any shape he wants. He can also control any other loose sand or dust in his vicinity. His goal is to rob banks so he can provide money to treat his terminally ill daughter. This creates a unique villain for the series, as he is not being selfish in his law breaking.
The one aspect of Sandman that I was concerned about is the slight retconning the history and making Marko responsible for the death of Peter’s uncle in the first film (a flashback reveals he was partners with the robber Peter let escape. That turned out better than I had thought it would, and in the end, Sandman and Spider-Man have a sort of heart-to-heart chat, in which Peter forgives him for his uncle’s death and he even lets Sandman go free. An interesting mutual understanding of troubled men with superpowers indeed.
Venom, however, is treated less admirably. Topher Grace plays Eddie Brock, a rival photojournalist to Peter Parker. Brock delivers seemingly incriminating photographs of Spider-Man robbing a bank, but Peter exposes his photos as fraud and Brock is fired. Later on, Brock sees Peter out on a date with Gwen Stacy, whom Brock was sweet on. This pushes him over the edge and when the symbiote attaches to him he goes on a frenzied rampage, hell bent on destroying Peter Parker and Spider-Man. This just seemed silly to me. I can see how he’d be miffed for being exposed as a phony, but the jilted lover twist was over the top.
I did some research and found that, in the comics, Brock turns evil over seemingly minor things as well. This still isn’t good enough for me though. The Green Goblin was psychotic and Doc Ock’s appendages had taken over part of his mind, so Venom needed to come about over more than just a few minor offenses. Or, the filmmakers should have shown us more of Brock’s instability, perhaps having his hatred for Peter develop over a few films instead of the first hour of this one. Also, the effects to create Venom’s toothy, grinning mouth weren’t all that great. He just didn’t look real enough. (Sandman suffered from this as well).
Speaking of visual effects, they just weren’t up to snuff this go around. There is a scene in which Harry, as the New Goblin, chases Peter Parker (sans Spidey suit) down a series of impossibly long and narrow alleys at high speed on his hover jet board. During this chase sequence the two periodically fight. There are plenty of jump cuts and fast action, leading to a lot of CGI work that failed to impress me. At times, everything on screen was computer generated, reminding me of the Smith vs. Neo CGI fest in Matrix Revolutions. I came to see a movie, not a video game, thank you. Also the flow and look of Spider-Man while swooping through the city has finally become passé. He looks to computery against a real skyline and even more fake when the skyline is digitally souped up.
Another major issue with the film is a matter of excessive goofiness. Spider-Man has always been a bit nerdy and the films have always included a dose of cheeky, silly fun, but Spider-Man 3 goes too far. Many dramatic sequences are ruined by a heavy-handed slap of silly that pulled me right out of the mood. For instance: after Mary Jane is fired from her acting gig she lands a spot as a singing cocktail waitress in a local bar. Peter (under the influence of the evil symbiote) decides to take the lovely Gwen Stacy to that bar specifically so he can rub it in MJ’s face since she dumped him not too long ago.
This scene is a brilliant concept and also kind of cliché at the same time. The fact that the symbiote is powerful enough to affect Peter’s better judgment and morality is fine too. But when Peter dons an emo/goth haircut and magically knows how to perform a saucy, naughty tango like a ballroom master, the film jumped to Ludicrous Speed. Some things just don’t belong in a Spider-Man film. A Latin dance number is one of them (but at least it’s not as bad as putting nipples on the batsuit).
I was also a little peeved about this misuse of the Gwen Stacy character. In the comics, Peter develops real feelings for her. Here, she is simply used as a piece of arm candy for revenge. Bryce Dallas Howard is both beautiful and talented as an actress and was severely misused in this film. If they do make a Spider-Man 4, I would hope they would bring her back and straighten out her role in Spidey’s world.
My final qualm is with the handling of the New Goblin. Sure, Harry has been plotting his revenge against Peter/Spidey for a while now, but it comes on so randomly in the movie it threw me off balance in a bad way. Then, as soon as it the assault starts, Harry nails his head on a pipe, leaving him with amnesia. For much of the film he gawks and smiles like a half-idiot, not remembering much from the last five years. Eventually a well-timed vision of his father (kudos to Willem Dafoe for coming back) sets him off again. But only briefly. He ends up joining sides with Spidey and sacrifices himself to stop Sandman and Venom. It’s all just a bit too chaotic and bi-polar to be very believable.
Overall, Spider-Man 3 does provide plenty of the effects and action that summer crowds tend to drool over, but it seems like the filmmakers gave up on making Spider-Man films stand apart from the rest of the summertime ilk. Spider-Man started out as a boldly smart superhero series but by this third installment, our friendly neighborhood web slinger has given in to convention. Comic books fans will find it more enjoyable than most due to the enormous amount of allusions to events and people from the comics, but for us regular folk, it’s a lukewarm melodrama with too much going on.
You’d think that there is nowhere to go but up with a potential sequel on the distant horizon, but I seriously have my doubts if a Spider-Man 4 could rise from the ashes of this marginally disappointing tale.
Wait to rent this tangled web.
RATING: 2.75 out of 5
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