I’m trying to come up with a mathematical equation that will make this film make sense. I think I’ve got it:Tomb Raider = Indiana Jones – intelligence – realism + breasts + short shorts
That pretty much sums it up. The absurdity of the plot (which seems to be just a vehicle for showing how good Angelina Jolie looks in tight outfits) shows its video game roots. Only a gamer could consider any of this mess plausible.
A planetary alignment of the whole solar system gives a cult the chance to control time by accessing some ancient, yet uber-sophisticated device hidden somewhere. In the process, the cult manages to anger Angelina, bringing her (and her breasts) into the fray to honor the memory of her father. About as deep as a kiddie pool, right? Basically, it gives helpless gamer nerds a flesh and blood image of their video game heroine and sucks a little bit of intelligence out of the rest of us.
RATING: 0.5 out of 5
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