Pee-wee's Big Adventure (1985)

Who knew that the story of a stolen bike would be able to turn its man-child main character into a household name and launch its director from ‘up-and-coming’ status to Hollywood’s must-have man? Much like the star of the film himself, Pee-wee’s Big Adventure is the kind of film that defies the odds and captures the hearts and minds of a select, devoted audience.

Pee-wee Herman, a grown man with the heart and demeanor of a child, loves his bicycle. His neighbor Francis, another adult with childlike tendencies, wants Pee-wee’s bike but can’t have it. One day, Francis manages to steal the bike without being seen, crushing Pee-wee’s heart. No one seems to care about something as minor as a stolen bike but Pee-wee is determined to get his bike back. Seeing Pee-wee’s unending devotion for his bike, Francis wisely sells it so he won’t get in trouble.

After consulting a psychic who feeds him a bunch of bull, Pee-wee sets off on a wild and weird journey across the USA for his beloved bike. This trip takes him to Texas and all the way to California. Along the way he encounters a number of colorful and oddball characters every bit as unique as Pee-wee himself.

Pee-wee Herman lives in his own world. While he interacts with the real world on a daily basis, Pee-wee and reality are like oil and water. Half of the humor found in this film comes from how the barrage of supporting characters react to Pee-wee’s mannerisms and antics. This is a rare feat for a comedy accomplished most successfully in films like The Jerk and Borat. A lot of comedians would like to think themselves capable of crafting such a character but the cream always rises to the top.

That’s not to say that Pee-wee is a triumph as a character. Perhaps it is because I grew up with Pee-wee Herman and his quirks as a part of my cultural lexicon but the character begins to get annoying after a while. Seeing him for a few minutes on a Saturday morning TV show is one thing. Much like the numerous Saturday Night Live skits turned into movies, 90 minutes of Pee-wee may prove to be more than some can handle.

Credit has to be given to Paul Reubens for always giving Pee-wee 110%. It has to be physically and mentally exhausting to make a character as quirky as Pee-wee Herman. Reubens must have tapped into some kind of secret inner-strength to find the manic energy necessary to bring Pee-wee to life. Love for the character simply can’t be enough.

Aside from a number of neat set locations and visual allusions to other films, there isn’t much to be wowed by in this film. The story is quirky but straightforward. The aesthetics are interesting but nothing compared to the gothic flavor that would consume much of director Tim Burton’s later work. As long as a few corny antics and goofy gags will suffice in a comedy, Pee-wee’s Big Adventure may just be your thing.

While it is undeniably an interesting blend of innocent and adult humor, this film ultimately isn’t my thing. Pee-wee definitely has his moments of genuine humor and you would have a hard time not laughing at least once during this film, there is a reason why Pee-wee’s Big Adventure has a cult following. It may have something for everyone but it’s almost entirely a guilty pleasure kind of film.

RATING: 2.75 out of 5

Planet of the Apes (2001)

The big problem with remaking a legendary film (especially one with such an iconic and oft referenced/mocked ending) is that everyone already knows what’s going to happen. The middle of the film may be wildly different (as some remakes try to be), but the beginning and end points are already known to us.

Tim Burton brings his creep-tastic directing skills to create some very nice imagery but a mediocre script. Burton’s films typically have a dark feel to them and this is no exception. The landscapes work really well, but "Marky" Mark Wahlberg is out of his element and out of his league here. It doesn’t help that the script is bad, laden with intimations at current politics and how our society is really no better off. Pile on top of this some ridiculous special effects, a shameful overuse of wire work, a weak supporting cast, hideously cheesy references to the original, and an ending that made me say out loud “Well, that was stupid,” and you get this underwhelming example of why Hollywood doesn’t need to remake really good movies.

RATING: 1.5 out of 5

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)

I think if you put Michael Jackson in charge of a candy company the outcome would be fairly similar to this “re-imagining” of Roald Dahl’s classic children’s story.

Johnny Depp is known for playing some really out-there characters (Ed Wood anybody?), but his abuse of creative liberty as Willy Wonka is downright creepy, looking and acting like a child molester.

Evidently Roald Dahl wasn’t fond of the now-classic 1971 musical version of his story and sold the rights to have it remade shortly before he died. His surviving family allegedly oversaw every aspect of the production and all creative decisions that went into this flick.

I realize now that this means that Dahl’s family realized that they could make serious cash off of the remake because everyone would pique their interests in what the remake was like. Director Tim Burton floods the film with his standard lot of unnecessary imagery, set designs and camera work. It’s also got a minor Gothic aftertaste that Burton seems to command.

Burton claims it's not a remake, but I’ve got news for you- once a film based on a book or other source material has been made, any other “versions” that come after it are remakes. And remakes almost always pale in comparison to the original. This one sure does.

RATING: 2.75 out of 5